Finally celebrating being me!

A caveat to those reading this is that I am truly open and honest in this blog and it includes both personal and professional narratives. That’s me, I wear my heart on my sleeve and that is what you may expect should we work together.

I am proud to say that I have just completed all pre-certification training modules with the Co-Active Training Institute which is the largest and most recognised coach training establishment in the world.

When I decided that I wanted to train as a Life and Business Coach, I sat back and looked at the significant experiences of my life. The list was longer and deeper than I had anticipated and to be honest, I felt gave me a decent grounding for a coaching future.

Please excuse the list-type narrative that follows, but it seems the best way to fairly quickly highlight key events in my life. These included:

• Leaving school at 18 with 4 A Levels under my belt but rebelling against headteacher advice to go to university
• Working full-time and studying most evenings to achieve Certified Accountancy qualification by the age of 21
• Marrying at 21 to someone that I knew in my heart of hearts I didn’t love and shouldn’t marry, but doing so because I felt trapped and unable to be both honest with myself and brave enough to stand up for what I wanted
• Divorcing a few years later with the financial and emotional loss that often accompanies divorce
• Travelling to New Zealand against family wishes and spending eight years in this fabulous country, exploring, meeting new people, and enjoying a new culture
• Growing my career very significantly during this time as well as re-marrying and having two children
• Struggling both as an individual and as a wife and mother with a lack of support whilst bringing up two very young children and returning to the UK with sadly another rocky marriage
• My husband and I separating suddenly (although not unexpectedly) when the children were age 2 and 3 respectively and finding that people surprise you in both good and bad ways
• Vowing to maintain the stability of the family home for my children and diving back into a very full role in a corporate environment (having been previously working a grand total of eight hours a week with only four of those being in the office)
• Battling to uphold my high standards of motherhood in providing unconditional love, emotion, and support whilst also working long hours in a responsible corporate position
• Falling in love with the true love of my life
• Falling out of love with the corporate world and experiencing the massive change and challenges associated with that in 2003
• Setting up my own business as a Consultant Finance Director and gaining first-hand experience of the challenges of wearing several hats!
• Failing to admit that I was still not allowing myself a work-life balance
• Losing a very close loved one and experiencing the effects of profound grief
• Oh, and then in September 2021 doing the scariest thing that I have ever done in my life – a skydive

I expected to grow my career knowledge during my coaching training, but what I did not expect was to discover SO much about myself, which has transformed how I think, my day-to-day life, and how I interact with others.

I was terrified on day one of the first course.

I was not 100% comfortable using zoom and was definitely NOT comfortable speaking out within a group of twenty to twenty-five people and potentially being selected to be the ‘client’ during a group coaching session.   

I constantly worried about the ‘risk’ of being asked to do this and struggled initially with the art of coaching which relied on my ability to go with the flow and see where the conversation took my ‘client’. 

To put this into context, even with my best friends I would excuse myself from any party games on the basis that I would freeze and my mind would go blank if I took take part. The embarrassment that accompanied being in the spotlight felt worse than the embarrassment of making an excuse not to take part.

As the courses progressed, my confidence grew and grew. I recognised very quickly that the group sessions were a safe space to be yourself, that there was truly NO judgment but instead a massive amount of support from both the leaders and my co-attendees.  

I realised that I had lost confidence in myself in many ways whilst travelling through the journey of life.

Coaching has made my life and life goals very much clearer and its benefits to me are very clear.

I now recognise that:

• I AM a good person, liked by many
• I AM good at my job and have had many achievements during my time as an FD
• I very much enjoy being with people on both a one to one and group basis and now have the added skills of a coach to bring to the party
• Strong connections can grow quickly with like-minded individuals and are hugely valuable whenever and however they appear.  
• Building a new business IS tough, but also fun with the support of others
• Connections with the family that you grew up with do not HAVE to be maintained if they prevent your self-development and it is okay to accept that
• My Life WILL have ups and downs but it always comes back into balance
• Being in my 50s does not mean that my life now remains static
• True friends support you through thick and thin
• I can make fun happen – I do not need to rely on others

I have a clear vision for myself now, which is that

• I am gainfully employed as a Coach for a team of clients to whom I am deeply connected.  
• My clients grow from each session that we have and a cliché as it may sound, step by step they become a better version of themselves.  
• My clients are happy to be accountable and they commit to achieving the actions that they have agreed to.
• I work with a mix of individuals, charities, and corporate businesses
• I help people grow from wherever they are on either a personal or business perspective
• I feel valued and appreciated by my clients
• I am fulfilled by my work
• I manage my energy well and do not allow my career to exhaust me!
• I respect my qualities and don’t allow saboteurs into my life (well, not very often)
• I maintain hobbies that bring happiness to my life
• My children are independent, secure, and enjoying their lives
• My husband and I have more fun and less responsibility as the children continue to become independent and
• I have a fulfilling circle of friends and supporters

Onwards and upwards.

All the best

Angela

www.chrysalis-coaching.co.uk