Positive Influencers

I was discussing ideas for this week’s blog with my son and his girlfriend.  

 My thoughts were that I would point the blog in the direction of surrounding yourself with positive influencers and the impact that could have during your life.  

 Kennedy suggested that I include a section on how I have been a positive influence on others.  

 Ooh, that made me stop in my tracks.  

 As with many of us, I find it so much easier to talk about people that have helped me to develop a positive outlook on life, as opposed to acknowledging myself for the support that I may have given to others.

 As those of you who have either been coached by me or read previous blogs will know, I regularly refer to saboteurs.  

 Saboteurs are negative voices that attempt to derail you from taking positive actions.

Saboteurs potentially served us well as young children and provided protection to us, but as we have developed and grown-up, they may have remained with us.

The image that resonates with me concerning this is baby teeth. Baby teeth serve us well whilst we are very young and our mouth is too small to accommodate adult teeth – but imagine if we had to live the rest of our life using baby teeth!

 So, what was the saboteur that jumped into my mind this morning?

A saboteur that doubted that I could have added value to others to the same extent that others have positively influenced my life.

Self-doubt.

Well, I need to kick that saboteur away ASAP!

Positive influencers appear in many aspects of your life. Sometimes they stay for a while, other times they jump in and out.

Sometimes, hearing a cheery good-morning as you walk the dog is enough to change your mindset.  

At other times during your life, you build relationships through choice or otherwise with people that continue to inspire you.

Other than family members, the first people that you tend to continually cross paths with as a child are teachers.

 

I had one middle school teacher who was also my piano teacher for many years. 

I started to play musical instruments when I started middle school.

Whilst as an adult, people tend to admire those with musical abilities, as a child, you were often considered a ‘geek’ or someone a little different, and certainly not (when I was a child anyway) ‘trendy’.  

Mrs. Hext changed that perspective for me and many others.  

She was a young, trendy, buoyant teacher.  Everyone enjoyed her music classes. She commanded respect but was also fun. Both her husband and herself were highly involved in and committed to the Bedfordshire youth orchestras and bands.

I doted on Mrs. Hext.

She was my hero.

She supported me every step of the way through exam and performance nerves. I took comfort from her presence and her positivity. She genuinely celebrated my wins and helped me to deal with areas that I struggled with. She was an encouraging influence on my life for many years even after our teacher-pupil relationship ended.

 

Work colleagues are another example. We work with many people during our professional lives, but only very few remain in my mind as people that I aspired to be like. People that I enjoyed spending time with, engaged with their values, and learned from.  

Sue Ball, was a great example of this. Again, someone with high personal values, a caring and encouraging nature, and a professionally driven but fun approach to life.

 

My life coach is another example of this. I always look forward to my sessions with Anne. I connect with the values that Anne exudes and I can be a true and honest version of myself during these sessions.

Over time, my outlook on various areas of my life and the actions that I take has changed both as a result of my coaching training and my time with Anne.

 

Now for the hard part.

Where do/have I added value to others?

I always look to do so with my children. I continually try to demonstrate my life values to my children. 

I work hard, I look after myself both physically and mentally. I have taught them the importance of independence, of caring for others, and of allowing yourself to be cared for.  

My dad was and still is a great advocate of the fact that you save up for things. If you didn’t have the money in your pocket then you didn’t buy something. This has had a major influence on me and is also a value that I have instilled in my children.  

I have taught them that for every yes there is a no, that every action has a consequence, and that you choose your way in life. 

I have taught them that life is a balance.  I aim to give them enough rope to take steps into new adventures, but not enough rope to hang themselves.  

I love them infinitely and will always support them through life as long as they also support and develop themselves.

I have taken the experience that I have gained from mentors through work and extolled the same examples to those that have worked for me. I support and educate, I help along the way, I try to set a good example at all times, and do not expect anyone to do anything that I would not do myself. I encourage individuals to keep developing but to maintain awareness that work is secondary to health and family.

I say hello to passers-by and I particularly ensure that I exchange a few sentences with someone elderly out for the walk, in case they are returning to an empty house.

Many people comment on my smile. I smile a lot. Smiles help the world go round.

I can’t say that 100% of the time I maintain a positive outlook and I am far from perfect, but I always try to catch myself if I feel tempted to fall into a negative outlook.  

Positivity generates positivity.

What could I do more of?  

I am tempted to say I don’t know, but as I tell my children, you don’t learn about yourself unless you dig deep.

I will think about this during my reflection time later today!

All the best

Angela

www.chrysalis-coaching.co.uk

07867 418568